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At times in our lives, we each experience
problems in our relationships, in dating or meeting people.
Sometimes these relationship problems can be small ones and
sometimes they can be major ones. We can all use a little help
and advice in dealing with these problems. One of the best ways
of seeking help is to talk about or share your problems. Here,
we give you the chance to tell us about your problem. |
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I feel more attracted to younger men.
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I am a 39 year old divorced mother of two. I
know I have a lot to offer in a relationship (caring, intelligent,
professional job, own home, feisty personality, physically very fit
and attractive). However, my feelings of inadequacy stem from
childhood and therefore, I find it hard to start a relationship even
though I have a lot of dates and an active sex life. As I am young
at heart I am drawn to younger men who do not have children. I try
to be realistic about this fact and so assume that these men will
not want a serious relationship with me - thus I behave as if I do
not want a serious relationship with them. I do not want to get
hurt. I have tried dating older more serious men who already have
children but they fall in love with me and my feelings towards them
are not reciprocated. I feel more at home with younger rebellious
types as I am a rebellious type myself. I feel as if I am going
nowhere and now feel lonely and used. If you have any advice for
helping me get out of this rut I would trully appreciate it. I have
already had 2 years of councelling but I do not feel it has been of
much help to me.
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Our reply
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You say you
have had two years of counseling but they haven't helped. It sounds as
if they have actually helped a lot because few people who had not had
counseling would be able to express their problem with such clarity
and insight as you have done.
Possibly
where the counselling is no longer being effective is that you do not
seem to be focussed upon a goal. Perhaps it is now time to identify
what you want, as that will help you decide how to move on and out of
the rut.
You say that
you have a lot to give to a relationship, you also identify some of
the barriers you have to building a relationship, including, it seems,
your expectation that it will not work.
Perhaps now is
the time to consider coaching as a development from counselling.
Coaching will enable you to identify your aim or goal and ways of
working toward it. It will also be there to help you recognise when
your barriers or negative feelings come into play and help you deal
with them.
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In this book, Valerie Gibson takes the reader on a
witty romp through all the excitement, satisfaction, drawbacks and
pitfalls of dating younger men. This book has great insights and
advice for women who find themselves attracted to the younger man.
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