How Erotica Helped Us Overcome
Our Lovemaking Problems
by: Bettina Varese
Your soul mate might be your perfect match in
almost every sense, but do your lovemaking sessions
always live up to your expectations? I mean, do you
prefer to make love in the evening and your partner is
a morning riser, so to speak? Learn how one couple
found that erotica books and erotic short story books
helped them "get it on".
Choosing between a night time romp and a morning
quickie may seem like an either or situation if your
life does not allow you the luxury to do both, but if
you are trying to negotiate how to share out your
lovemaking sessions between AM and PM, you will find
that you are barking up the wrong tree.
But the solution to your sexual frustration is far
easier than you think.
"We never seemed to take the time to be together
just as the two of us" says Rachel, a full time
housewife living outside London with her partner Henry
and their two children. "It was always a matter of
getting the sex out of the way so we could go to
sleep, but Henry is keenest in the mornings which was
a problem even before we had kids."
Henry says, "It wasn't really the reflex erection
that triggered it off for me, but having sex as I woke
up just put me in a good mood. The evening after a bad
day at work was not an ideal time for me to have sex.
my mind would just not be in it."
The solution came in the form of an erotic book
Rachel bought off Amazon.
"It turned me on actually, when I found out she had
been reading the book, but it helped us even more
because it made us more comfortable to talk about our
sex lives. It was easier to refer to the book and say
what do you think of this story?" laughs Henry
Rachel agrees. "We could be more open with each
other and spoke more freely about things. I didn't
know for instance that a quick nookie in the morning
would mean so much to Henry. The first time I woke him
up with a blow job he came home from work with a huge
smile still on his face and his arms full of flowers.
And later that evening he made real effort to return
the favour."
Working out a schedule for sex around kids,
housework and other chores can be a tricky business
and what finally made it work for Rachel and Henry was
a very simple solution.
"We came up with a slight spin on a technique we
found on a relationship website, and we called it a
mutual appreciation evening." Rachel explains
They set aside one evening a week when, after they
had put the kids to bed, they would first plan the
next weeks chores, take up any grievances they had
with each other as well as things they would like to
thank the other for.
"We'd then move on to the "mutual appreciation" by
taking a bath - even together if we felt like it, but
usually on our own just to have a bit of space between
the formal planning stuff and the sexy stuff".
Rachel continues, "Then we'd either get some wine
or warm milk or something, depending on the mood, and
find somewhere comfortable, anywhere in the house.
Usually, if Henry has the bathroom first he'd use the
time when I'm in there to put out some candles, music
or something to set the mood but it's only as
something extra once in a while.
"Most of the time we'll start off with a massage or
just sitting opposite each other naked and talk, hug
and stroke each other and so on."
"You know, the odd thing is" says Henry, "we may
not always have sex that evening. I would say we end
up going to bed cuddling more often than having sex,
but because we have taken the time to appreciate each
other, sex seems to happen more often on the other
days."
"I think it is because we no longer think of sex as
a chore," agrees Rachel. "We have dedicated two to
three hours a week to spend quality time with each
other, and because of that we seem to be able to deal
with the chores better for the rest of the week."
So if you can't work out if you have the time or
inclination for a night time nookie or a morning
quickie, the solution is to make time to plan your
family time and set aside some regular special time
with your loved one.
And if you're lucky, you'll get both! |
