You have clearly gone through a lot, almost a personal hell. You will need to rebuild your life and you seem to know that. The starting point is to accept what has happened to you and not to try to deny it or try to carry on as if nothing has happened. By writing this message, you have made the first step toward accepting your situation and that is also the first step to recovery.

Your next step is to decide what you want and where you want to be in your life. Then work out what steps you need to make in order to achieve what you want.

Perhaps above all, you will need to talk with your wife and with your kids, hard though that may be. Let them know what you want, let them say what they want. Then work for each of you to achieve what you want and need.

You say that you must give things time, that is true but do not let that become an excuse for sitting down and letting everything just happen around you. You are a person, a person who has rights, desires and needs; do not let your rights, desires and needs be ignored.