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At times in our lives, we each experience
problems in our relationships, in dating or meeting people.
Sometimes these relationship problems can be small ones and
sometimes they can be major ones. We can all use a little help
and advice in dealing with these problems. One of the best ways
of seeking help is to talk about or share your problems. Here,
we give you the chance to tell us about your problem. |
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Sleeping with the boss
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About 3 months ago I started seeing my
manager and we been sleeping together on
and off. At first I told him I didn't want a relationship so he
ended up going out with this other girl. I realized that I wanted to
start seeing him more than just having sex. I know he has a
girlfriend and I don't really care. At work
he'll flirt with me openly and stuff. I told him how I felt but he
says he likes
his girlfriend and thought about breaking up with her to be with me,
But I know that never happens but I continue to see him what should
I do? But if he likes his girlfriend why does he continue to see me?
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Our reply
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There are
many forces at work in a relationship, many drives that attract people
to other people. There is more than just physical attraction, more
than personality, more than love.
One of
the most common and influential of these forces is 'power'. Your boss
has power over you as he is your 'boss'. One of the ways he exercises
his power is to attract 'mates' to him. This may explain why when he
finished with you, he immediately goes out with another girl.
What was it
that attracted you to him? Was it his looks or was it the fact that he
was in a position of power? Did you feel that by being with him, it
would give you some of his power? Did you see being with him as a
social advancement for you? Or did you just find his power a 'turn
on'?
You have
analysed the situation well. You say that he will never leave his
girlfriend. You ask why does he continue to see you. That is because
he has the power to do so.
The question
you should be asking is why are you continuing to see him. |
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