At times in our lives, we each experience problems in our relationships, in dating or meeting people. Sometimes these relationship problems can be small ones and sometimes they can be major ones. We can all use a little help and advice in dealing with these problems. One of the best ways of seeking help is to talk about or share your problems. Here, we give you the chance to tell us about your problem.

I don't know how to let him go

I am married. May 16, 2002, I met a man who was also married, but separated from his wife. The first lie he told me was that is was divorced. The 4th day into
our meeting, we had sex. That following Sunday, I found out that he went back to his wife. I cried cause I had fallen in love with him in that little bit of time.

 We kept seeing one another. I even went so far as to having sex in his house that he shared with his wife, twice. In October of 2002, I decided that we needed to stop our relationship, and we did, but in Dec, he left his wife, I separated from my husband, and we found an opportunity to be together. The
second mistake he made was not coming to my mother funeral in December of 2002. Still I kept seeing him. The third mistake was not calling me on my birthday, yet I still kept seeing him. The forth mistake was being late on Valentines Day. I mean not showing up until 1am, yet I kept seeing him. The fifth mistake was not calling after I made plans to go to the cabins, yet I kept seeing him.

On top of all of this, I began buying him things, took him to California with me, gave him money, spent almost 4,000.00 on him.
We broke up in June, yet still saw one another. In August, I found out that he was sleeping with his best friends ex girlfriend. This girl had been over my house, all of the above, yet I continue to see him till this day.

This man has mad me so happy though, happier then any other man I have ever been with, yet hurt me more then any other man. I don't know when to believe him, I don't know how to
let him go....

 

Our reply
. There is a real sense of sadness and conflict inside you, a real mixture of feelings toward this man.

You say he has made you so happy and also that he has hurt you a lot.

It seems from the end of your email, that you know what you need to do. You need to let him go.

Yet in letting him go, you seem to fear the loss of happiness. This man has given you happiness. Yet, really, this happiness has been inside you. Your happiness does not depend upon someone else.

Inside you, you have all the resources you need for a happy life. You need to find these resources and use them. Counseling or Life Coaching could help you to find these resources.

There is one other person in your life, whom you seem to have cut out from your email. That is your husband! Are things reconcilable between you two? Maybe he should be your first refuge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

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