10 Clues of an Online Affair
By Bill
Mitchell
Its obvious online affairs are prevalent today. What can you do when
facing the possibility your spouse has one? This epidemic is causing the
breakup of countless marriages. How do you know if your spouse is
violating the marriage vows by carrying out an online affair? Let’s look
at typical indicators I personally discovered while investigating
affairs. If your marriage is in trouble these clues will help you be the
judge. Caution: These clues are not confirmation of an affair; just
feasible indicators for you take into account.
1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who
doesn’t use a computer today? I know a few people. They are excellent
for paying bills, staying in touch with family, friends, customers,
finding street locations, and a host of other productive endeavors. We
can not live without them and shutter when a lighting storm threaten our
usage. Just look at kids and their instant messaging. They will go
without dinner just to keep in touch with their circle of friends. Try
to pull them away, it’s no easy task. Does your spouse resemble your
kid’s magnetism to the computer? Discover why this need is so powerful
before it’s too late.
2. Passwords, instant message “buddy lists”, internet email
accounts and emails are concealed - even protected from you! Do you
find your spouse needing his “own space” at the computer? Is there a
real reluctance when you ask to know his passwords? What’s there to
hide? These questions all have obvious answers. The act of hiding
information is deceptive by nature. Of course, those of us who have
worked in “Corporate America” understand the need to protect company
secrets. But what legitimate “family secret” are we hiding? Listen, any
time a spouse becomes secretive with you, it fulfills a direct need they
demonstrate. Why? You are like the judge, referee, or source of
authority creating that “sense of accountability” over them.
Furthermore, they are breaking matrimonial law if committing adultery.
There is, in many courts, a price to pay!
3. Computer use after you have gone to bed, when you fall asleep
or in the middle of the night.Have you been awaken by the absence of
your spouse at night and found him at the computer? If this behavior
becomes a pattern you certainly need to be concerned. While work demands
a sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly after you
have fallen asleep is a little odd.
4. Your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer
when you approach.This is panic and unexplainable behavior. The
rationalization is “when all other contingency plans fail, just shut
that thing off and don’t get caught.” This foolish act is also called a
“computer crash” and has the potential of damaging both hardware and
software. The loss of files occurs when a computer is cut off abruptly.
Many spouses have reported this behavior just prior to hiring us. We
consider it a significant indicator of a deviant behavior. Now, bear in
mind your spouse may be viewing pornography and fear reprisal. This may
explain the need for panic.
5. The computer and monitor are always positioned away from your
sight. The study of body language has become useful to many
investigators, especially those of us who administer lie detection
examinations. An obvious sign of deception and a common mistake the
cheater make is blocking your view. They need the time to clear a
screen, turn off the monitor, or change to another internet page when
threatened with exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop
away from view is an indicator they don’t want you to see something.
Over time this act develops into a habit and confers greater freedom
from detection. In most instances, having the lead time to hide the
truth from you is all they need.
6. Clears all internet history after chat sessions, usage or
installs software to automatically rid this information. There are
times when a computer becomes filled with unwanted files. Computers run
faster when less “temporary” files use up valuable “ram memory.” This is
prudent maintenance for any computer user. What I am referring to in
this sign is the repeated habit of purposefully clearing information
from discovery. While this information is retrievable through the
science of Computer Forensics, you won’t find it readily available. On
the market now is software that actually helps the cheater. The actual
purpose of this new software tool is to hide any trace of computer
internet usage. Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.
7. Exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive
when confronted to stop. “When are you coming to bed?” “We really
need to go, now, what’s taking so long?” “Can’t you do that later?” Have
you asked these types of questions? Teenagers often become “obsessed”
with instant messaging. If you have kids who use the computer, you know.
They have trouble walking away from the PC. This same desire or need
displayed by your spouse is cause for alarm. A compulsive, defensive
pattern of behavior shows a strong need to continue. You need to know
why.
8. Shares personal information, photos or events with strangers in
emails, chatrooms or while instant messaging. Setting up a profile
for instant messaging is commonplace. Kids love to fill them up and
share with friends on the buddy list. I’ve witnessed spouses who send
nude pictures of themselves over the internet. They share very personal
information that should be reserved to the marital home. Maybe it’s time
to track this information with software that collects this data. Today
more courts are allowing emails and computer usage data as evidence.
It’s advisable to consult an attorney in your state beforehand!
9. Plays online games and frequents “personals” chatrooms.
This is where it starts. Play a few games, win or loss but then we need
to chat. Well if chatting is fine, why not include your spouse? You
can’t, so why do it?
10. Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in “The More You
Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a
troubled relationship available at
http://themoreyouknowpi.com
Thirty plus years of investigative experience is poured into this
new release. It’s a “must have” resource guide for every woman’s
personal library.
© 2005 Bill Mitchell All rights reserved.
Top Private Investigator
Bill Mitchell is the author of "The More You Know – Getting the
evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship."
For more information about the book, infidelity or cheating
husbands, visit
http://themoreyouknowpi.com.
To receive a FREE Special Report entitled Emergency
Infidelity Survival Plan – Top Fifteen Steps to implement Right Now!
If you suspect an affair send an e-mail to
mitchellreports@bellsouth.net with Emergency Plan in the
subject line.
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