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Relationship Problems


My Wife does not Trust me

My wife doesn't trust me because I keep things about me and another friend of ours from her. My wife was originally residing outside of the US before she came here a year ago.

I can't lie, I have kept things such as me and the other girl going out to movies and going to the friends house while she wasn't in the country. I am also finding out that some of my family members have been telling my wife that I had something going on with the girl before she came to the US. 

Now my wife want me to end all contacts with this girl who has
been like my best friend. I will go as far as to say that I have developed some feelings for her. 

I feel that it is unfair and controlling of her to ask me not
to have anything to do with this girl.  I have been calling the girl at work and when my wife finds out it has caused us arguments.   Please advise me on how to
go about this situation.

Our reply

. You are talking here about your wife, on one hand, and a close friend, on the other. Surely your wife is more important to you ? If you do not feel your wife is more important to you, then you should question your whole relationship.

You admit to being unfaithful to your wife, perhaps not physically but at least emotionally, in seeing this other woman. Feeling lonely and seeking company while your wife was out of the country is understandable but dating and building a relationship (other than friendship) with someone else, are not acceptable.

You say that your wife does not come from the US, this does not mean that she is is any way inferior and should be treated any less than a US woman.

If your wife has asked you not to see this woman, then you should agree to that or at least compromise and agree to meet her only with your wife present. You need to show your wife and your family members that you are committed to your relationship.


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