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Relationship Problems


He drinks and threatens to beat me.

I have been living with my boyfriend for three years. We have been having  problems. We broke up and got back together a week ago. He recently got drunk and broke a couple of things in my house. He also grabbed my wrists and said, "Do you want me to beat you huh? so that way  you wont take me back". I was
horrified and scared. I told him to leave the house the next day.

I do not know if I should stick around. Is that dumb that I am even considering it.

I love him a lot yet I am scared. He promised he would stop drinking but I am in doubt or scared. What if he drinks and he hurts me next time?
Help me I need your advice

Our reply

. Yes, you should leave him.

On the other hand, you say that you love him and perhaps you feel you should stay because of those feelings. Perhaps you feel you can support him and help him though his drinking problems. Perhaps you are afraid of losing that love.

However, you cannot change him. Only he can change himself. He has first to admit to a drinking problem and then do something to correct it. Alcohol is a very powerful adversary and he probably could not overcome his problem alone. He would need help and support but this help and support should come from professionals, not from you on your own.

Leaving him, might only make his drinking worse. However, you cannot have him back with this problem and the violence. You cannot live with a man who scares you in this way. You need to make these fears clear to him.

So, what should you do ?

Try to find professional support for him. Move away for your own safety and peace but perhaps give him the option of coming back if he can overcome his alcohol problem and the violence ( with the professional help) in, say, a year from now.



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