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At times in our lives, we each experience
problems in our relationships, in dating or meeting people.
Sometimes these relationship problems can be small ones and
sometimes they can be major ones. We can all use a little help
and advice in dealing with these problems. One of the best ways
of seeking help is to talk about or share your problems. Here,
we give you the chance to tell us about your problem. |
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He
drinks and threatens to beat me.
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I have been living
with my boyfriend for three years. We have been having
problems. We broke up and got back together a week ago. He
recently got drunk and broke a couple of
things in my house. He also grabbed my wrists
and said, "Do you want me to beat you huh? so that way you wont
take me back". I was
horrified and scared. I told him to leave the house the next day.
I do not know
if I should stick around. Is that
dumb that I am even considering it.
I love him
a lot yet I am scared. He promised
he would stop drinking but I am in doubt
or scared. What if he drinks and he hurts
me next time?
Help me I need your advice |
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Our reply
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Yes, you should
leave him.
On the other
hand, you say that you love him and perhaps you feel you should stay
because of those feelings. Perhaps you feel you can support him and
help him though his drinking problems. Perhaps you are afraid of
losing that love.
However, you
cannot change him. Only he can change himself. He has first to admit
to a drinking problem and then do something to correct it. Alcohol is
a very powerful adversary and he probably could not overcome his
problem alone. He would need help and support but this help and
support should come from professionals, not from you on your own.
Leaving him,
might only make his drinking worse. However, you cannot have him back
with this problem and the violence. You cannot live with a man who
scares you in this way. You need to make these fears clear to him.
So, what should
you do ?
Try to find
professional support for him. Move away for your own safety and peace
but perhaps give him the option of coming back if he can overcome his
alcohol problem and the violence ( with the professional help) in,
say, a year from now.
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