There is often
the dreaded 'ex' lurking somewhere. Someone from a past
relationship who we still sometimes see or think about.
Often they lurk more in our mind than in reality. Yet
their presence can affect they way we act, the way we
think and the way we lead our life. Why ?
The 'ex' may be
seen in either of two ways. They may be someone who dumped
you, who cheated on you, or who divorced you. Or they
may be someone you dumped, someone you hurt or who you
Either way, they
are someone who knows things about you and, of course,
you know things about them. Seeing them or thinking about
them, may well bring back memories or feelings about things
that you did. It may be hard for you to accept that the
'ex' may be doing those things and other things with someone
Maybe you fear
meeting the 'ex', especially if the 'ex' has a new partner.
What if the new partner is/was a friend of yours or someone
you knew ?
Do you find yourself
avoiding places where you used to go with your 'ex'? Do
you avoid going to places where you might see the 'ex'
? Do you dislike hearing what the 'ex' has been doing
? Are there songs you don't like to hear, clothes you
don't like to wear, scents you won't use, all because
they remind you of the 'ex' ?
When you do see
the 'ex', what feelings do you have ? Do you have feelings
of resentment or bitterness ? Do you have feelings of
remorse. Do you have feelings still of care and concern
? Do you have a longing to get together again ? Do you
have a desire to hurt him ?
Whatever your feelings,
you must acknowledge them. You must also recognise that
your feelings and actions regarding the 'ex', are having
an affect on your life now. They could well have an affect
on any new relationship you may have or wish to have.
Handling your feelings
and your actions regarding ex partners, is very difficult.
You need to acknowledge any feelings you have, good or
bad. You should, if you so desire, seek to recreate those
positive feelings and new positive feelings with a new