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Introduction.
This page is
mainly aimed at those women going through or considering
divorce. This doesn't exclude men or, indeed, any other women
and I would welcome feedback from all.
The Starting
Point
In the early years of life, most
women would aim to attract friends, boyfriends, lovers and
partners. The aim would be to find an ideal partner (or
near enough) and then start a home and a family. The 'aim' would
shift higher or further as we developed and achieved our goals.
For many women, the final goal (though it might not have
admitted as such), was to become a successful lover and mother
of children.
However...
Our lives, though, are not
always predictable. Events, emotions and time have a habit of
changing things and interfering with our plans. Many women find
themselves in a situation where they can no longer accept or
continue to live their lives as they find themselves at the
present. For whatever reason, it is women at this point who
consider divorce. Interestingly, most cases of divorce are
initiated by women.
Once divorce is
considered and certainly when the divorce process has been
started, it brings along other problems and considerations.
One of these
problems, is the feeling of failure. Women often feel
that they are a failure for failing, as they see it, to
live up to their original goals and ideals. Along with failure,
may come guilt. Many women feel guilty that they didn't
do something earlier to prevent an event from happening which
had led to the current situation. Many women feel guilty about
possibly letting down their children, their parents or, even,
their partner.
Along with
failure and guilt, come fear and loneliness. Not
every women feels these to the same extent but they are usually
there. The fear or anxiety is often a fear of the unknown;- not
knowing what will happen after the divorce, how will they cope,
what does the future hold, can they find another partner ? The
loneliness comes when splitting from a partner, often a woman
will find that friends were really 'his' friends who had met
through his work or hobbies. The woman may have fewer friends
but, hopefully, one close friend. The loneliness often affects
single mothers more, although they may have the company
of their children, they are less free and able to go meet other
adults.
On the other
hand...
Divorce has a positive side
and it is the positive side of divorce which is highlighted
on the
next page...... |
